Turns Out I'm Not All That Into Cafe Culture

In describing the lifestyle here in Buenos Aires to people back in the states, I would frequently say that they have a "cafe culture" here. And this is pretty much true, at least among the upper and middle classes. There are lots of cafes and restaurants with sidewalk seating, and people seem to spend lots of time hanging out at these places.

And to everyone in stressed-out New York, this just sounds fantastic. Less work, more hanging out in cafes! Sounds great -- in theory.

But on this trip, maybe since I've got more time on my hands since I'm not working at all, I'm starting to see just how much sitting around people do. And it's a lot. So this is my realization -- Argentinians are really, really good at sitting around. I've shared this realization with my argentinian friends, three or four of them, and they all laugh and say, yup, we are truly experts at sitting around.

There are definitely nice aspects to this. No one is in a hurry, no one gets impatient. This is really nice, make no mistake.

But, funny, the cafe lifestyle, all that sitting around, it kind of drives me crazy. I'm very patient, I don't get worked up when the line is delayed at a store or anything, but I can't just sit at a table for hour after hour gabbing. I need to be a little more active.

People don't just sit around in cafes and restaurants -- they sit around all over the place. Walk down any street during the day long enough and you will see a group of people, usually men or teen-age boys, sitting on the sidewalk or the curb. They've got some sodas, some chips maybe, but they look like they've been there a half hour, and look like they'll be there another half hour. Maybe they're taking a break from some kind of job? Or else just teenagers with nothing to do? But I see this all the time.

And my neighbors, they are truly experts at sitting around. I know because we both have these nice sizable terraces, stacked on top of each other. And when I'm outside or have the door open, I can hear every word they say down there. And, man, do they sit around a lot. Granted, they have a baby, so they can't be out all that much. But they have friends over in the afternoon and evenings, and on Sundays they frequently have the whole extended family over, cramming six or eight or more people onto this terrace, and then spending five, six, eight hours out there sitting around yapping. I was just amazed.

But then I find out that Sunday is family day. Much as they do in Spain, here almost everyone spends all day Sunday with their family. Like, at the family house, or at somebody's house. All day. This is really, really nice -- god bless 'em. I totally believe in the extended family, I think the loss of the extended family in the US is what has made us all so incredibly neurotic. (I could pontificate on this, but I won't -- if you're interested in my thoughts, ask me.) But, nonetheless, I guess I am an American, so spending all day every sunday inside with my extended family sounds like torture.

And back to cafes -- yes, people take their sweet, sweet time at cafes. This is lovely. In theory I should love this. Take the time, smell the roses. Bond with your friends and family. I know, I know this is the most important thing in life. But, I don't know, I am just not that into sitting around. It might not be who I am. I want to do stuff, at least during the day. Evenings I like to hang out with people, but during the day, I feel a need to be active.

Who knew?

I guess the big question then is this -- if I stayed here, or somewhere else with a similar culture, would I adapt?

PS -- the funniest thing about the neighbors downstairs is that one of them -- I think the father, roughly 35 years old -- is smoking weed pretty regularly down there on the terrace. Once he was even smoking weed on family day, with all these people down there. Sometimes I have to shut the sliding door out to my terrace, because it comes right in my apartment.